fyeahassholecat

Do you go to the university of guelph?

No I do not :)

This is my asshole cat Oscar. Although he is awesome, since i...

This is my asshole cat Oscar. Although he is awesome, since i moved away to university, he likes to maul me when i get back home. At 15 years old he is still as awesome as he was when i picked him out of the littler of kittens as a toddler. Favourite food? Doritos. Favourite place to sleep? Under the covers with me. Favourite night-time activity? Trying to massage my head. Whats that noise under the bed? Oscar chasing his tail. Love this cat to death, except for when he purrs…… because he drools…. EVERYWHERE. Here he is sitting on my work as I try and study for 3 midterms. Oh and don't worry, he chewed on all of my pens and got black fluffy fur in my keyboard. Even with all of his weirdness, he is still my best kitty friend and he better be around for many more years:) 

This is my assholecat, Hazel. Her hobbies include licking...

This is my assholecat, Hazel. Her hobbies include licking absolutely everything and crying nonstop at 4am. She's just over a year old now, and still hasn't gotten the hint that when I forcibly remove her from a place, to NOT immediately run back to it.

This is Kiwi.  She's actually a super sweetheart.

This is Kiwi.  She's actually a super sweetheart.

This is my asshole cat, Catniss.  Her mom was a stray that we...

This is my asshole cat, Catniss.  Her mom was a stray that we took in, and not much later she had a litter of kittens, and we decided to keep one.  Catniss won't eat cat food. Every we have to specially make a weird ham egg and milk mixture, thats the only way she'll eat.  She also won't drink water unless it's moving, so she always makes a big splashy mess when shes thirsty.  If I ever try to lay on the couch and relax I always hear her little claws picking away at the fabric.

But she's adorable and I love her. So it all works out. 

This is Dorian, our flame point siamese asshole cat. We adopted...

This is Dorian, our flame point siamese asshole cat. We adopted him last month from the local shelter without knowing that he was so chatty. Instead of "meowing", he garbles. His voice sounds like, "Leeeeedodoodbllluuuuuuuuuleeleleleleleleeeee", mostly at 4am. I don't think my partner nor I have gotten a full night's sleep since we got him, but who cares. We have a special place in our hearts for this little guy.

His most annoying habit is trying to escape when we leave the house. He waits at the door and has gotten out a few times. It takes us atleast 5 minutes of wrestling and yelling before we can leave safely. 

We have adventures at: dorianthecat.tumblr.com!

Oh, and he's cross eyed. Oh….

This is my asshole cat, Squid. As you can see, his main hobby is...

This is my asshole cat, Squid.

As you can see, his main hobby is drinking out of the toilet. But his other interests include licking my eyes when I'm trying to sleep, climbing upside-down on the upholstery, & dragging my peanut butter sammiches off of my plate & eating them when I get up to get a beer.

Naturally I am obsessed with him for all of these reasons & more, so he has his own tag on my Tumblr if you click-through the picture.

See this asshole? This is Char, he gives you that look after he...

See this asshole? This is Char, he gives you that look after he farts. He runs out the bathroom after he's done shitting so you can smell it.

My cat is more than a little weird.  Also he purrs very loud,...

My cat is more than a little weird. 

Also he purrs very loud, and takes up more of the bed than I do.

This is my asshole cat Calli. Yeah, she's pretty, and...

This is my asshole cat Calli. Yeah, she's pretty, and yeah, she knows. She enjoys running rampant in the neighborhood, stealing other cats' collars, and scaring the ever living daylights out of animals ten times larger than her.

This is my asshole cat Emily. We found her when she was only a...

This is my asshole cat Emily. We found her when she was only a tiny bubba when she followed my class onto a sports field, so I made my mum take her home. We were going to put an ad in the paper saying we found her but when we have her a bath the water was pure black so we figured she was definitely abandoned.
Emily likes to drink out of the bath tub, it must be running water as well. She refuses to eat left over dry food, it must be fresh. Emily also likes to meow at the back door until you let her inside, then she'll jump out the laundry window just to go meow at the door again and make you get up. She LOVES new people, when friends come over she'll pretend I'm not there and snuggle with my friends. Shes also tiny! Emily recently got caught in a cat trap and taken to the pound, I spent my 18th birthday crying all day because I thought she was dead, then I cried even more when I saw her photo on the pounds website. Even though little emily is a total arrogant asshole cat, she is the most amazing cat in the world <3

This is my asshole cat, Tiger. She's the most adorable...

This is my asshole cat, Tiger. She's the most adorable little Devil. She hates every single living cat in the world, even the one she has lived with ever since she was just a month old kitten, she's 5 years old now. She has a litter box, but has stop using it since the new kittens came ; I have this weird feeling that she's trying to tell me that she doesn't like the new arrival to what she deems as the already crowded house. She sleeps everywhere, she'll use 3/4 of the bed even though she's a thousand time smaller than me, and have I mentioned how she'd kick me if I use 'too much' space. She's a diva too, she likes to sleep with the air conditioner on and please don't forget to buy her the most expensive at the store, or she'd pee/poo all over the house + refuse to eat. I love her though, despite being an asshole she'd come to me when I'm crying or sad and just sit there and meow occasionally as if to say "I don't like you that much, but I don't like it when you're sad too. So cheer up maybe?" I can't imagine a life without this asshole and simply thinking of having to go to college and living without her is frustrating. 

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I LOOOVEEE YOUR BLOOOGGGGG <3 and possible you too!

<33333

This is my asshole cat, Lily. As sweet as she looks she does...

This is my asshole cat, Lily. As sweet as she looks she does have her annoying traits which include throwing herself at my door till it opens, sitting on my lap when I'm trying to pee, watching me shower, sleeping on my face and covering all of my possessions and living space in a thick layer of cat hair. 

Other than that she's a babe.

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I have a cat who's addicted to Doritos, he'll demand you give him the whole bowl. If you give a small chip he'll meow, if you ignore him you better have a good hiding place for your bowl.I'll put them on my computer desk he'll jump up to get it, then I'll put the bowl of Doritos on my dresser. Then he'll act as if he's not interested and just when you're a bit too distracted to respond he comes back in jumps on the dresser and starts nibbling on the nacos. Doritos are NOT safe around him. XD

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How to Ruin Your Humans' socks 101

How to Ruin Your Humans' socks 101

This is my child, Tom Waits. He is indeed an asshole cat. Tom...

This is my child, Tom Waits. He is indeed an asshole cat. Tom loves to be scratched behind his ears but don't even think about touching his tummy. DANGER ZONE. He never learned how to play nice and I still have a few battle scars. We let him outside to roam and play. Every day Tom Waits leaves us a little present on our doorstep. His biggest accomplishment was the squirrel. 

Once he brought in a live chipmunk and let it run around the house, just out of sheer amusement. 

He's a naughty boy, but he's my naughty boy and I love him immensely.